Help From Up Above
by Tsuki Doriimaa
Summary: Tradgy hit closer to home then Trowa or Quatre would like. They loose someones dear to their hearts. Quatre's having a terrible time trying to cope... But they get some unlikely help from Up Above. '


~ Help From Up Above ~  
By: Anime Redneck  
  
.  
Warnings: Yoai, slight AU, Sadness  
"The Good Stuff"  
By: Kenny Chesney  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
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It had started off a remotely dreary day with promise of becoming worse as time passed. At five in the morning there's not much you can see out there with the daybreak rays not even peeking through the skies yet. As time drew near for the young man to leave for work, he could finally see the angry gray clouds gathering in armies, working to block out the light.   
  
As he drove in, they got darker. An omen he was sure.  
  
It wasn't easy after the Wars. It was enjoyable for the while. After soldiers had settled into the peaceful times and the Preventers origination was set up watching for any growing threats or Fires - as most referred to them as - to the peace they now held.  
  
Following the Wars, Quatre and Trowa had moved in together, Quatre taking over his position as Owner/CEO of Winner Enterprises, Inc. Trowa was his acting body guard and advisor. Heero, Duo and Wufei all joined the Preventers, the peaceful life, not being able to satisfy their warrior souls. It wasn't a secret that the three had a strong bond between them; they shared a house on the outskirts of Sanq Kingdom.  
  
With time, the stress of running the nationally known business which was a major asset to almost every running business in the Colonies and Earth, started to gain on it's young owner. Quatre threw himself into work with a zeal that most were surprised by. He got more work down in a year then anyone previously running the company had in two. Trowa acted as a great help, business and emotional wise with the young Arabian.  
  
Fixing previous problems brought on by his father's death and absence of a true leader was only a front for him to hide from the abyss of pain and sorrow eating away at his soul. Working him self to the bones, falling asleep at his desk, cups of tea scattered all around his office were commonplace nowadays. Poor Trowa was helpless in trying to relive some of the pain his love was feeling while trying to deal with his own.   
  
People around the office felt for their young Master; begged and pleaded with him to retire early for the day, take a small vacation; it had been two years sense taking over, time for a break. All to deaf ears.  
  
Pulling into his parking space Quatre pulled himself from the car heading for the elevators, riding to the top floor. The doors opened to sounds of people walking about, trying to wake up in the process of getting work sorted. Various 'Hello's' and 'Good morning Master Quatre' were directed towards him; absently he gave a wave here or 'Hello' there.  
  
Bidding his secretary, Angels, a good morning he swept past her opening the double oak doors, walked in, closing them softly behind him with a click, turning the lock. Crossing the large room with sluggish, tired strides, Quatre rounded his desk dumping the briefcase on it before throwing himself in the leather bound executive chair, allowing it to swallow his small built frame.  
  
He leaned forward placing his head on crossed arms. 'It hurts... hurts so much...' Two months had passed since they held the services for the others... two long... excoriating months... and it still hurt as it had happened yesterday. Shoulders shook as a tear slipped past his barriers. "Why them? Why'd it have to be them!? Allah... not them..."  
  
Minutes later he pulled the scattered pieces of his soul together sitting back whipping the tears from his eyes sighing. He didn't know how much longer he could go on like this... the pain was too great. He knew of people grieving for a long time happened, but this long? He was starting to think it ridicules, but... something in side of him wouldn't let go of it... Kept tugging at his heart, demanding attention, remembrance... love and sorrow... Allah it was tarring him apart!  
  
A knock at the door made him sit straighter. He was at work... no time for acting weak and girlish... he snorted, a small smile forming, 'Wufei would have my hide for it!' The justice, onna raving man would most certainly rant him for it. Ah... but there was the door... Angels, he knew.  
  
"Com-" well couldn't likely invite her in with the door locked now could I? Making way for the door, he quietly unlocked it before slipping back to his desk. "Come in!" he was pleased his voice sounded happier then he felt.  
  
The door opened, "Master Quatre... I brought you some morning tea..." she smiled, tea tray in hand as she softly closed the door. Gliding to his desk she set the tray down, poured his mug and handed it over while sitting in a chair across from him.  
  
"Thank you Angels."  
  
A mere nod, "Master Quatre..." Angels started, "It looks like... well..." not wanting to be rude to her young employer, she decided to drop it. "Erm... nevermind Sir..." standing with a bow she turned to leave.  
  
"Angels..."  
  
"Hai?" She stopped halfway turning to face him.  
  
Giving the elder woman a small kind smile, "What is it you were going to say?" Truth be told Angels wasn't that old, only in her early thirties, he thought of her as an older sister. Having been with the company a little over eight years now, she knew the workings almost as good as he. Always one to look after him as if he was one of her own, he loved her for that, no one else seemed to check in on him much, didn't have many people left about...  
  
"Quatre..." stepping forward closer to the blonde headed boy, concern showing in her warm amber eyes at the look on her charges face. "Please don't... there was nothing you could have done hun..." ignoring the fact someone could come in the room at any time she walked around the large maple coated desk to kneel at his side, turning the chair to face her.  
  
"Listen to me Quatre..." waiting until she had his full attention on her and not the paperclips she started. "You've got to let it go hun... It'll-"  
  
"I can't though... I just can't..."  
  
Understanding shinned through Angels knowing eyes. "I know... I know..." taking his hand in her own squeezing it tightly a sad smile crossed rose lips. Gods how she knew... it wasn't easy, but necessary to keep going. "You've got to let it go... but keep a hold on it..."  
  
"Wha?" confusion bubbled within his sea-green orbs along with a glassy sheen of unshed tears.  
  
"Oh darlin'... Quat, you need to let it go to be able to keep it. I know that doesn't make much sense right now, but it's the truth." She gave his hand another squeeze, "I know it hurts... I know your in much pain, but please, take it easy... Why not take the day off?" she stood looking out the large office windows. "Looks like it'll be a down pour anyways... Just go home!"  
  
Quatre shook his head smiling slightly, 'Allah she sounds like Duo...'  
  
"I can not do that Angels... I have work to be done."  
  
A shrug, "Give it to Trowa when he comes in."  
  
"I should do it. Besides, I have meetings."  
  
Smile, "I can cancel them."  
  
"But-"  
  
Angels held up her hand stopping the flow of objections. "Do it" using the motherly tone once more to get her point across the mans thick, kind hearted head, "You need this Quatre... You've got people here who can handle everything else, that's why you have them. Technically, you don't need to be here at all."  
  
"Hey-"  
  
"I know... you feel you need to be here to have something to do - granted there's a lot you can do better then more monkeys out there..." she grinned mischievously, "Point being, you need to take time away from the business to relax your mind and soul... The things you do here can be handled by Trowa, you know that. You don't have an legitimate reason to stay, do you?"  
  
Quatre frowned looking at the hands in his lap. In fact he didn't have any reason to be here if she put things that way, but he wanted to be here... It was something to keep his mind off of 'other' things... A sigh, but she was right... Trowa could take care of his work load while he stayed home, but...  
  
"Aw hey come on hun..." seeing the tears starting to fall Angels gathered the small boy into her arms hugging him close. He was her other son, not by blood of course, but by choice... both him and his love were.   
  
To her they were too young to have been fighting in the Wars, too young to be running a business like they were now - granted it was doing better then it had in years for it - but they shouldn't be made to handle such a load... She sighed heavily, her heart aching for the pair of them... 'All that stacked up with this... Gods its not fair...'  
  
"Quatre..." smoothing back the flaxen hair, "Please, take the day off before it starts to come down, you needn't get into a mishap on the way home... Come on now darlin', pack yer thin's and lets get you out of 'ere." finishing she whipped away stray tears with her thumb smiling courageously.  
  
Pulling away looking into amber eyes shinning with love and such sadness he couldn't help but nod agreeingly, while noticing her accent returned whenever she got emotional about things. He stood taking her offered hand and started to pull things from his briefcase that Trowa would need during the course of the day.  
  
Smiling in thanks, he let the taller woman see him to his car before driving back home... he probably passed Trowa on the highway... but he wouldn't know... he just wanted to get home and into his warm bed.  
  
Sleep sounded good for a day that was destined for rain.  
  
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~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
.  
  
Greeting the brown-haired amber-eyed secretary before entering the office the tall man started, realizing his beloved was not in attendance today, though he clearly remembered him leaving the house. Going on instinct he continued to his desk sitting behind it taking in the papers, which lay across the wide surface.  
  
He had a pretty good idea of what had happened. It seemed to be happening more often as of late. He couldn't blame his small Arabian though, he knew what it was like... and with the blonde's Space Heart, he could only guess at the double impact he received personally and from those around him.  
  
Angels was a Godsend, for he surely didn't know what else to do that would help his love. He'd tried it all... nothing worked.  
  
How were you to comfort someone, when you yourself needed comforting?  
  
Letting out an inaudible sigh of air shuffling through the pages skimming them, he knew it would be a long day. Might retire early and see what he could do to cheer up his- the door opened silently.  
  
"Trowa..." Angels nodded to him bringing over a piping hot mug of coffee, black, "...here you are hun." Smiling at his thanks she stood a moment lost in thoughts. "I sent him home again..."  
  
"I know... thank you, Angels." He didn't know what he'd do if she ever left them... a mother he never knew, he had grown rather fond of the older girl.  
  
"I wish there was more I could do for you both..."  
  
Shaking his head at the troubled expression crossing her face he couldn't help but mentally smirk in kind amusement. 'Do more?' "You do so much already Angels... We couldn't of made it this far... this well... if it weren't for you..."  
  
Angels smiled as his soft spoken words reached her, "I know but... I just can't help it..." bowing to him she started for the door once more, "Please... call me if there's anything I can do... I mean it." Giving a glare for measure she paused with the door open, "Call me. Anytime, any day, I'm here for you both..." Gods now she wanted to cry over it all... "Ai shiteru, chiisai hito..."{1} the door closed softly behind her.  
  
Trowa almost felt like laughing at that, 'Little one?' Shaking his head taking a sip of the steaming hot liquid, he truly wondered, what life had been like if the recent events and Wars hadn't happened. Would he still have met Quatre and the others? Most likely not... but one always wondered such things...  
  
"You can't change time..." that sad truth held too much meaning for them.  
  
Eying the mass of white sheets before him, Trowa decided to get started on them. The quicker he finished, the sooner he could leave for home and see what his blonde angel was up to.  
  
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~ * ~  
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It was around four that day the door opened next, admitting a paper carrying Angels with her ever-present motherly smile. A small one crossed his own. She was always smiling around them, offering help when she knew quite well they could handle things on their own, making sure they both ate when work piled up and refused time for it. If the others had thought that Quatre was a mother hen, they hadn't met Angels.  
  
Funny thing was... the other pilots had met Angels when the Wars were over one afternoon that they were to gather for lunch at the office, she had came in with the food for them, gave brief 'Hellos' to them all before retreating to her desk outside the doors, making sure no one intruded upon them.  
  
Watch Dog Secretary. He chuckled.  
  
That wasn't the funny thing though... what was funny was before she had met any of the guys, both he and Quatre had noticed personalities in her that were similar to the others if not the same. That was a quirk in itself; it was like they weren't away from the others at all. They were squeezed into the small-framed woman working with them.  
  
Duo's charm, jokes, smiles, cheerfulness and concern for them. Heero and Wufei's silence when listening to them, observation skills, the protectiveness of friends, clean and tidy way of getting things done without fail. Trowa grouped himself in with the quietness and observation she possessed, Quatre in with her concern for others and cheerfulness. There were personality traits from them all within Angels. But she had her own trait that no one else could posses.  
  
Motherly love and instincts.  
  
She knew when something was wrong, knew how to right it. Knew when something was bothering them, knew how to clear it away and make them smile again. She just... Knew... That was Angels... truly a Godsend to those with hurt, troubled souls.  
  
You couldn't get much more hurt or troubled then a couple of ex-Gundam pilots. So much weighed on ones mind, soul... holding you down, reminding of things better forgot... The past was a haunting thing, which could not disappear, but living with work and Angels... they were making way through it.  
  
Shaking the thoughts from his head he put the pen down looking up. "Hello" his soft, calm tenor voice floated through the air. Even after the Wars, he was still the same, only raising his voice when in meetings that got out of hand.  
  
"Hey Trowa dear... how's it going?" Angels asked making her self at home in the plush chair across from him.  
  
A shrug, small smile playing on his lips, "Going."  
  
Giggling she nodded, that wasn't the response she thought she'd get, but it was a good one, and he was smiling again. That was excellent, even if it was a ghost smile; it was still nice to see. A frown crossed her features. They didn't smile much anymore... not unless she did something to them, said something... or someone else in the offices came by with a goofy tail to tell.  
  
Ah, but they were making progress! That was truly the point of it all. And now glancing at the clock she smiled brightly. 'Time to kick him out!'  
  
Standing from the chair she stared at the desk a moment, taking in the different forms, reports and statistics scattered there. With a nod nimble hands sorted them, ignoring his wondering hands trying to grab back a few, and pushed each stack to one side of the wide surface before facing him, smile still in place.  
  
"Alright, leave."  
  
He blinked.  
  
"Go on... time to leave and head on home!" a grin, "Time to go see what your beloved has been up to all day long."  
  
Trowa nodded knowing she was probably right about that. After all it was almost five and time to head home. He'd been wondering what Quatre had been up to all day... hopefully he wasn't lying in bed crying again. He couldn't take seeing him doing that again. Sadly, it was getting old.  
  
"Aye... thank you, Angels..." standing straightening out his clothing, sitting for so long had put permanent wrinkles in them. Gratefully though, he hadn't any meetings to attend to, due to her canceling them all. "See you tomorrow then?" he asked bending to retrieve the briefcase at the desks side.  
  
She smiled, "Count on it."  
  
Trowa started walking around the desk past her when he was pulled into a fierce hug unexpectedly. Usually it was Quatre getting grabbed in these, she knew he wasn't used to it... but then, maybe that's why she did it?  
  
"Be patient with him, Chiisai hito... he'll come 'round..." squeezing him little more, "But you, my Chiisai hito, need to heal as well... do not forgo yourself for the other... both are in equal need, eh?"  
  
Smiling softly Trowa's olive green eyes shinned as he gently lifted arms to return the hug. He didn't do this normally... he wasn't used to it... no one but Quatre and an overly hyper Braided Baka had ever hugged him before... but... Angels was like a mother to them - to him - and he dared to say it, but... he loved her as such.  
  
Two years he'd known her and already the woman had learned to read him like a book, know his moods though his face still showed nothing, guess his eyes gave him away to her, even if others couldn't see it. It was... endearing? Was that the word for it? He wasn't sure, but it sounded right. A mother to two lost kids in grown bodies of nineteen summers. Neither had known their mother, if they had, they wished she would've been like Angels.  
  
"Hai... I'll try." She gave him a look, "I promise, Angels."  
  
"That's m'boy!" giving a small peck on the taller lads cheek she began pushing him towards the double doors giggling, "Time to go now, lets move it!" she didn't stop pushing him as she reached her desk snatching her purse while moving them both towards the elevators. She arrived half an hour before them and refused to leave 'til they left, no matter how late it was. She wouldn't leave them there alone to neglect the necessities.  
  
If she didn't go in there at lunch or on late nights with food, they wouldn't eat anything 'til morning... it was just how they were she learned. But Angels wouldn't have it! They were 'Her Boys' and she wasn't going to let them waste away.  
  
The others in the massive fifty-story building knew that the CEO and his love/body guard were 'Her Boys' and you didn't mess with 'Her Boys' unless you wanted to mess with her. They all acknowledged her sweet, tender, caring for all side, but they knew... they knew if you crossed her wrongly, or caused upset harm to the two she served... You were in for it.  
  
Angels was a kindhearted love, hard working secretary and possessed one hell of a mother's protective streak for the two lads. She would do anything for anyone that she could. When it came to the CEO and Body Guard, it was all she had to give.  
  
'A mother did anything for her children, right?' she mentally asked her self stepping from the elevator walking to the young man's parked truck. She gave a nod, 'Right. And though I probably couldn't legally adoptive them - not that I need to - they're still considered my children.'  
  
"Here yeh are laddy! And this would be my stop." Smiling to him with a wave Angels started walking off towards her own car. "Be careful out there! It's rainin' cats n' dogs!"  
  
Inclining his head in acknowledgement pulling the keys from his pocket and unlocking the truck he climbed in, started it and headed into the rush hour traffic.  
  
He'd be glad when he got home.  
  
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~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
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"Home..." the word rolled off his lips like it was outlandish to him, newly testing it out. Almost three years now that they had lived together in one of the larger Winner estates on colony L3 - with all forty of the Manaques, and it still amazed him at how he loved it. Each day was filled with something new, some new emotion, interesting happening going on. It was never dull.  
  
Stepping from his truck he made it to the door in only a few quick steps, something wasn't right, pushing him forward; the feeling started half way home. He was met at the garage door.  
  
"Master Trowa" the manaquic bowed politely, "Master Quarter's in the room again Sir, sleeping."  
  
"From crying?" He questioned sighing, already knowing of the answer.  
  
"I believe so."  
  
Trowa nodded, "Thank you" and headed upstairs for consoling. One way or another this had to stop. Four long months this occurrence had been going on ever since... Then... the smaller man just wouldn't let go... couldn't let go.  
  
It wasn't that he didn't like it or couldn't understand it... No, it was that he understood it all to well... And it hurt... It hurt so much to watch the one he loved slowly crying himself to pieces, not being able to let it all go... It hurt Him, because he felt the same, heart wrenching pain as his small Arab did. Watching the blonde only served to heighten that pain, knowing with everything he was that he had it easy, while Quatre suffered greater from it.  
  
Taking the now memorized twist and turns of hallways he arrived at their room in minutes, steeling his heart with a few quick deep breaths, praying to anyone that would listen in, to help him through this. Gods only knew what would happen tonight, but come hell or high water, this had to stop.  
  
He entered the blue and green clad room to find that his love was indeed, knocked out on the bed, tear stains running down his pale cheeks. Sighing softly Trowa sat on the beds side, gently running a tanned hand through flaxen bangs, "Quatre..."  
  
The other stirred but didn't wake, "Quat, wake up love..."  
  
"Mmphh..." turning to his side blinking sleep fogged eyes, trying to focus them, "Tro... Trowa?" smacking his mouth cutely, trying to get the feeling of cotton from it.  
  
Looking to the nightstand Trowa spotted the glass of water usually kept there during the nights, offering it to the dried mouth boy with a nod, "Aye, its me. How are you feeling?" Asking wasn't needed, he knew, could tell by the others face how he felt.  
  
"Mm thanks" sipping a few times at the cool water he sighed, leaning more into the pillows, "...fine... I guess..." minutes passed in silence before he broke it again, "I had another dream... it was so real Trowa... everything in it... it..."  
  
"Sshhh love..." leaning over to pull the smaller man into his lap, cheek resting on his chest, Trowa rubbed soothing circles on his back, "Its only a dream..."  
  
"But it-!"  
  
"It happened... I know... I know..." Gods above did he know. "You have to accept it, and let it go Quat, or you'll never rest." I'll never rest.  
  
Quatre pulled away staring at him like he was burned, "But I can't Trowa!" firmly shaking his golden head, "I just can't! They... they were like family! I can't forget them!"  
  
He knew it was going to be difficult, trying to convince him that accepting what had happened would let him live his life again... not live a dream of nightmares when he slept and while he was awake. That wasn't living. But at the same time, trying to get his eyes and mind opened to the fact that accepting it and letting it go was not forgetting about them!  
  
When his love scooted from his lap to lean against the headboard, Trowa stood from the bed with the grace bestowed any ex-high wirewalker, "Your health is deteriorating... sleep eludes you... How much more of this can you take before you collapse into a coma from lack of energy?"  
  
That was a very good question to which Quatre found he didn't know the answer to. If he was honest to himself, he could say his body would give out in another month. But his mind refused to let it be so, fought against his body. It would not, could not, let him forget!  
  
He wanted to, knew it was slowly killing him... but by Allah he couldn't do it! "I don't know... Months have passed... I must seem weak... but I just can't get the images out of my mind Trowa..."  
  
"Quatre..." looking towards the wall was easier then the innocent tormented face before him, sad watery eyes peering up at him, "...I know that-"  
  
"You don't!" barely a whisper cut him off.  
  
Trowa started forward towards the bed from his spot at the window, "I know wh-"  
  
Golden hair flew as the owner shook his head viciously, "YOU DON'T!" A tear leaked past closed lids. "You don't know what its like! You don't hear their screams!... You don't see their faces! Allah... the fear, love, acceptance... YOU DIDN'T SEE IT!!"  
  
"No I didn't..." Trowa whispered stopping his movements a few feet away, eyes closed. "I saw someone I loved curled up on the floor in pain... I saw someone I admired crying like a baby while others were helpless to do anything." His hands clenched to fists.  
  
"I'm sorry... I just can't let it go... To forget them..." another tear.  
  
"How long are you going to use that excuse?" the question was quiet, almost a whisper, sigh hidden within it, "How long will you be blind to the truth?"  
  
Misty aqua eyes peered up at the taller man, slowly clearing way to confusion, "Trowa what...?"  
  
"How long??" Angular jaw tightened in silent frustration, voice tight with control he never used before, all to save his little one. "When will you open those beautiful eyes of yours and understand that you will not be forgetting them? How long Quatre?" His hands shook, "Will you ever see that accepting what happened won't be forgetting them?"  
  
"I... Trowa I'm..." he didn't know what to say to that.  
  
Auburn hair slowly swayed as the European shook his head, eyes still closed, "How long will this go on? How long are you going to keep me suffering right along side you?" sighing almost in defeat as the other started to protest, "I will never leave you, you know that.... But I cannot stand here and watch you suffer any longer! I can't! It's tearing me apart to see you cry yourself to sleep every night, during the day, at work..."  
  
The Silent Soldier let a solitary tear make its trail down tanned skin, "I hurt to, you know...? I may not show it, may hide it..." placing one hand over his heart he opened his eyes, pinning Quatre's with sharp shining olive greens, drawing a gasp from the emotion in them. "I have a heart, in this chest of mine. It looses one piece for every tear I watch you shed... one piece for everyone that I cannot... For the pain I feel... the loss... for everything you feel..."  
  
Blue-green eyes softened, "Trowa... I-"  
  
"I cannot watch this anymore." His voice rose, "It has to stop!" and cracked as knuckle white fists unclenched. "How long Quatre?" Why did that sound familiar to him? "How long will you keep the unleashed pain chained to us?" he started towards the curved oaken door pausing with it open, "Why do you refuse to see that accepting what happened back Then, will only allow you to let the pain go? Stop the hurt? Accepting it will release Our suffering; not make you forget Them... No one may ever take those memories away."  
  
Another tear fell unseen as he started out the door once more, "Think on it Quatre... think hard..." the door closed as near silent feet made their path towards the kitchen, grabbed keys and left the estate for...  
  
He didn't know where. No destination truly. Just to drive... to think... to get away...  
  
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~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
Well, me an' my lady had our first big fight,  
So I drove around 'til I saw the neon light.  
A corner bar, an' it just seemed right.  
So I pulled up.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
.  
  
Why didn't Quatre understand that he knew what it was like? He knew that the other was going through? That it hurt him to see his little one hurting? Was it that hard to believe? That silent ol' Trowa, had a heart in his seemingly cold body, that it broke every time the other man shed tears over something no one but the Gods could have foresee and perhaps change? It wasn't their fault. Wasn't Quatre's fault... he needed to let it go!  
  
It tore him up, every time. He'd watched it go on for far too long. Like he had thought before entering the room. Come hell or high water, something had to change. And if his leaving for the night, to let the other think, was what it took... then by the Gods that's that he'd do... did.  
  
Though he didn't know where he was headed, his instincts were leading him, just driving down the many roads. The truck, it seemed had somewhere to go. He didn't know how long had passed before he finally tapped the breaks parking, hadn't bothered checking the clock to see when it was he had left.  
  
But there he was. Parked out in front of a run down bar, looked western. Casting a look at his surroundings confirmed it was western... couldn't have been any other type of bar. Not with the dirt roads, cactus plants, large rocks and endless bushes scattered as far as the eye could see. His only real question was... Where the hell was he? He'd never in his life, outside of piloting his gundam, managed to wind up in a place like this. It looked like the type of place they would hide out in 'til whatever they did blew over.  
  
.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
Not a soul around but the old bar keep,  
Down at the end an' looking half asleep.  
He walked up, an' said : "What'll it be?"  
I said: "The good stuff."  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
.  
  
Shrugging broad shoulders the twenty year old killed the engine, pulling himself from the truck to stretch. Long rides put a cramp in his long back and legs. Silently he was glad he didn't have to peer over at computers all day long, he felt sorry for those people, always having stiff backs from being hunched over.  
  
Giving one glance around, he pushed the old weather beaten door open, stepping through the threshold letting it close behind him with a bang. It was dark. Olive greens blinked trying to get used to the drop in lightening. The old musky sent of hay, wood, old fires and liquor bombarded his sensitive nose, making him refuse the urge to sneeze.  
  
Didn't look like anyone was there at first, it was so dim he barely made out the figure of a man, slightly long hair pulled back in a ponytail sitting at the far end of the bar seemingly reading something. But as he looked harder, his eyes were diverted elsewhere... towards the back of the bar.  
  
It was a mildly large bar, though he'd never really been into one to know, he guessed it was. To his right, still standing in the doorway, stood tables and chairs all pulled back from a large dance floor, stage set in front of that; some instruments littering it. To his left stood the bar and the man he assumed was the bartender, more chairs and tables pulled a bit back from that; in front of him, on the other side of the room, stood a jukebox that was currently playing a placidly slow yet upbeat song.   
  
Almost seemed fitting for him. He walked to the bar and sat down, catching from the corner of his eye as he sat, where the bartender's eyes were directed. Straight back, in the shadows, sat someone else... a man if his build was anything to go off of.  
  
.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
He didn't reach around for the whiskey;  
He didn't pour me a beer.  
His blue eyes kinda went misty,  
He said: "You can't find that here.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
.  
  
"Can I help ya guy?" a tenor cheery voice spoke up snapping Trowa from his thoughts.  
  
He blinked looking over "Hm... not sure?" What was he supposed to say to being there, when his truck was the brains in getting him here while his mind wondered?  
  
"Ahh... I see" the other man smiled walking over to lean against the bar two seats down. "One of them then."  
  
Watching his smile turn to grin, Trowa wondered just what that was supposed to mean? 'One of them?'  
  
Chuckling the slightly shorter man winked. "Ya know, 'one of them'... y'all fellers that just stroll in here for no particular purpose... just to be." He smiled starting to wipe down the bar.  
  
"Oh." Smart comment.  
  
Someone snorted from the back, his baritone voice floating towards them, "...or need someone to talk to..." there was the sound of chairs moving about.  
  
"heh Be quiet Fang and drink your slop!" the bartender laughed as the other flipped him a inappropriate jester.  
  
Trowa arched a brown brow looking back a little, "Fang?"  
  
"Yeah, have a problem with that?" the man sounded indigent about the name, almost like he didn't want it.  
  
"No, no..." quiet whispers carried good in the acoustic place, "Just curious."  
  
"See man! He likes your name!"  
  
"Shove it Mr. Wills."  
  
Mr. Wills waved a hand at him, his grin widening, "Yeah, yeah, bite me."  
  
"Name the time!"  
  
"Fine then!"  
  
"Fine!"  
  
Watching in amusement Trowa had slightly turned on his stool to see the other shadowed man waving his arm about. After a few minutes of endless bantering back and forth a chuckle slid past his defenses getting they're attention.  
  
Stopping to stare at the new comer Mr. Wills smiled leaning more into the bar, "Aww now see there... You've made him chock on his air with your endless blabbering!"  
  
The dark man sputtered, "ME!?" it came out sounding strangled, non-believing.  
  
"heh, What a guy." Sending a wink towards the new fellow he smiled, "You really can't help but like him."  
  
Trowa nodded, "I'm sure."  
  
"I'm not" came the voice again this time sounding put out.  
  
Laughing the bartender dug under the bar pulling out a small oval basket of chocolates, plucking a fat rounded one from the lot; the European watched as he drew his arm back throwing the piece. Listened as it hurled through the air, a *donk* sounding minute later with "HEY!"  
  
"Don't mind him..." smile, "So what can I do for ya hun? Wanna talk or somethin', I'm a good listener. Won't judge ya either."  
  
Chuckles, "He'll talk your ear off though friend, so watch it."  
  
"Oh shut up and eat your chocolate!"  
  
The corners of Trowa's mouth twitched into the smallest of smiles at the two of them, "I'm not sure... really..."  
  
.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
"'Cos it's the first long kiss on a second date.  
Momma's all worried when you get home late.  
And droppin' the ring in the spaghetti plate,  
'Cos your hands are shakin' so much.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
.  
  
"Ohhh... hard to talk about then, ne?"  
  
He sounded understanding, like he knew what he wanted to talk about. But that wasn't possible. He'd never ventured to a place like this before; the times coming close to it were during the war when their safe haven's were run down houses looking on the verge of collapsing from the outside, yet were nice and sturdy on the inside.  
  
Giving a curt nod Trowa looked to the bar.  
  
It made sense, he reasoned silently watching the seemingly two year younger man wipe down the impeccably clean bar, hair swaying behind him as if it were alive, that he would want to talk to someone about the issue weighing his mind down... He obviously wasn't able to speak to his love of it, distraught as his angel was now. Sighing as he shook his head in loss Trowa felt trapped almost... How did one, comfort someone else, when they themselves needed comfort?  
  
"Hey, you alright buddy?" the voice was full with concern.  
  
Lifting his head to watch the bartender a moment he could only shake his head. No, he wasn't okay, he wasn't fine... he was, stressed, emotionally drained... wanted to sleep for months or years, however long it would take to get his koibito to see that letting the pain go does not forgo someone's memories...  
  
Noting with rising care the look in the tall man's eyes the long haired bar keep leaned over laying a firm hand on his customers shoulder, making sure it seemed as comforting as possible. He hated to see people hurting, watching sorrow; pain, hollowness and confusion fly through this man's eyes only stabbed at his tender heart. That's why he ran the bar, at night it was filled with happy joyous people; it lifted his spirits.  
  
"Hey, can I get ya anything?"  
  
.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
An' it's the way that she looks with the rice in her hair.  
Eatin' burnt suppers, the whole first year,  
An' askin' for seconds to keep her from tearin' up.  
Yeah, man, that's the good stuff."  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
.  
  
He blinked almost sleepily looking over "Hm... drink?" smooth Barton, sounded intelligent there.  
  
The other chuckled, "Sure" dark brown hair waving behind as he moved, "What kind to ya prefer?"  
  
"Any?" He didn't drink much if at all, only when times were over bearing for him. Like when Quatre would break down at the office and he'd have to stay with the work load... or his love cried himself to sleep with the knowledge that he himself was helpless in comforting the other boy; his words going in one ear and out the other. Even then it was rare to see him with drink in hand.  
  
As the bartender bruised himself digging through the refrigerator with one hand, his other grabbing for over hanging glasses; the man in back watched with a careful eye. He knew there was something particular bothering this young man, a situation that would be heart wrenching to hear, painful to tell... Yet Fang found himself curious - despite it not being in his nature, to find out what ailed him. He already had a pretty good idea.  
  
Eyes were the windows to the soul. This man, Trowa, did not shade them well.  
  
"Here ya go! One Palely Milk on the rocks!" a grin, "House special" and wink were delivered along with his glass and a smile that was akin of someone he once knew and called brother.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
The bartender shook his head, "No need to thank me, it's on the house! 'Sides you look like you need it more then a drink." Seeing the trussed lad opening his mouth for comment he went on, "You don't look like you drink much anyways."  
  
"...yeah..." Nothing else to say about that, he didn't drink, simple as that. You did see him drinking then something close to a world crisis was happening...  
  
Minutes of quiet silence later brought a soft scuffle of boots on hard wood floor as the man from back moved to the front, "So what brings you to this dingy part of the colony?" he questioned sitting at the bars far end, still in the shadows.  
  
Leaning upon the bar two stools away the owner nodded mutely, face intense with concern and kind eyes that spoke volumes. It became apparent to the European, that he would not be leaving this western club until he told what was bothering him so. Just how he was supposed to tell this tragic tail was beyond him.  
  
"Y'know" voice soft, "I've been told the beginning's the easiest route to go..." It was hardly trying to coax the other young man into conversation, but it seemed to have the desired effect as an almost inaudible sigh left his lungs, shoulders slumped and head hung. He took a sip from the glass and looked to the two in thought.  
  
"It started... a year ago..." Trowa's voice was hushed; pain weaved through it in emotions he hadn't let others see in years as he started to tell of the past happenings leading up to his appearance at the bar.  
  
.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
He grabbed a carton of milk an' her poured a glass.  
An' I smiled an' said: "I'll have some of that."  
We sat there an' talked as an hour passed,  
Like old friends.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
.  
.  
~ * @ * ~  
.  
  
Quatre sat back in bed staring dumbly at the closed bedroom door. The door his lover had just walked out of not five minutes ago. The door that seemed to sound like a final closing on his life. Had Trowa left him? It was an illogical thought, he knew that, but couldn't help in thinking it all the same, there was just something about the door closing like that... a tear slipped down his pale cheek.  
  
Trowa had left him... Ohh he was coming back, Quatre knew that, knew in his hear that the other wouldn't leave him for good... not even death could wrench them away from one another.... Yet, he left still... Was upset... he, had made Trowa mad at him...  
  
But why? Why was Trowa mad at him? Didn't he understand the pain he was in? Couldn't he see that it wasn't easy? Trying to move on with life after what had happened? He tried.... Allah he tried! It just... it wouldn't leave him alone! The images kept coming to him at all hours of the day, the night, during his work; they wouldn't leave him alone to rest!  
  
Quatre had a soft heart, everyone knew this fact, he was special in that he was able to 'feel' others emotions and experience what they had.... But sometimes... sometimes he could 'see' what the others were going through... the bond so strong between them that it was able to pass such information through.  
  
He wished that his love was able to understand this fact. Know that it wasn't that easy for him to move on, to let go was to forget, and he didn't want that. The dreams wouldn't let him forget anyways... he wasn't that lucky. Or was it luck? A curse more like it! Who would want to live with the knowledge of seeing their best friends go down in a blazing ball of fire and being absolutely helpless to stop it? To hear their cries... actually smell the flesh as it burnt...  
  
Tears started to stream down his face anew as the haunting images played they're never ending loop on his poor tortured mind. Curling into a tight ball, hair matting to his forehead, Quatre was helpless once again, to stop the reminder of the months before...  
  
.  
~ * ~ Flashback ~ * ~  
  
A board meeting two months back, ten in the morning, eight men were meeting with him and Trowa on the production operations going on to rebuild L5. Troubles had arisen bring concerns forward; thus the need for the meeting. It was going so well... they had quashed the notion that more money was needed for the repairs; Trowa pointed out they should just pull some the necessary funds from projects completed that had money left over. Similar arguments were brought to the table and shot down much the same way.  
  
They were finishing up the meeting when Quatre suddenly kneeled over clutching at his chest, breathing heavily. Trowa was at his side in an instant, concern and worry clearly showing on his emotionless face, as he cradled the smaller man asking questions.  
  
Rasid had rushed in upon Angels calling, fending off the board members to give the couple some room while Angels pushed them none to softly from the oval room, locking the door after the last one, before standing with Rasid to watch in horror as her boss converged on the floor.  
  
"Kat... Kat talk to me! What's wrong? Kat!"  
  
He had groaned, "Its... the others..." Allah his heart hurt so much... like a part of him was being torn apart... cut out by a rusty jagged knife.  
  
"Who Kat? Which ones... please... talk to me..." he remembered the worry and fear in his loves voice.  
  
"Master Quatre? Please Allah... be alright..." the scared tones in Rasid's deep one.  
  
His body shuddered as if an artic wind blew over him, the pain flaring, and yell ripping from his throat, "AHH HEERO!!... HEERO NOO! NOOO!!"  
  
"Quatre!" Angels started crying hanging onto Rasid's strong arm.  
  
"Kat... what's happening? Heero's on a mission, ne? With-"  
  
"Don't do it... don't do it..." curling into a ball in the strong arms that held him tight, "No... no, no, no... DUO DON'T!!" the pain was eating him alive, "Allah no... not him too... not Wufei... Allah... not all of them... no... NOOOO!!!!"  
  
He had passed out then, waking up in his bedroom, a throbbing hurt in his chest. Trowa was sleeping at his side, dry pale streaks running down his cheeks. He had wondered then, what the problem was... He couldn't remember anything from before waking up... So why... why had Trowa been crying? He never did before.  
  
Something in his heart hurt at the thought of what it was.  
  
"Kat..." he sighed, forcing a smile, "Your awake."  
  
He trailed a finger down his face, "What's wrong Trowa?"  
  
"There was a problem Kat..." squeezing his hand, "...the mission the others were on... went wrong..." his voice hitched, "Terribly wrong..." a lone crystalline tear slid down his tanned face.  
  
"Trowa...?"  
  
The European boy sadly shook his head, "They're gone Kat!" his visible green eyes clouded over with unshed tears, "Gods... they're all gone... They- Gods... a routine flight, they all went to check out rumors... didn't find anything..." another tear slipped, "...Reports say they were turning back for base, nothing was there... Then Duo... Duo's radar went off scale... They were ambushed! Three squadrons of fifty suits each came from nowhere... the three didn't stand a chance... not a chance..." pictures flashed through the small blonde's mind, physics images of the battle...  
  
.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
I saw a black an' white picture an' it caught my stare,  
It was a pretty girl with bouffant hair.  
He said: "That's my Bonnie,  
"Taken 'bout a year after we were wed."  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
.  
  
"...how..." his voice was so small, almost squeaking out.  
  
"How'd it get past the Preventers you mean?" Trowa's voice was rueful, "I don't know... They, don't know... but it did. Heero..." he smiled sadly, "Heero got caught up in a fight with some suits, didn't notice the others surrounding him... slowly forcing him back into Earths atmosphere... heh Duo..." shaking his with a sad teary smile, "...The idiot... he saw it... Watched as Heero tried pulling up from his dive... He couldn't do it..." Trowa snorted, "The Perfect Soldier couldn't do it..." few more tears made trails.  
  
"Duo jumped the gun, killing those around him ruthlessly then took off after Heero." He paused, "We didn't have our Gundams anymore Kat... he shouldn't have done it..."  
  
"...Heart of a warrior in love..." Quatre remembered murmuring.  
  
Trowa had nodded, "He flew into the atmosphere after him, clamping down on Heero's suit, ignoring his commands to leave him... Duo refused to, turning his burners to full... still wasn't enough... Then Wufei... Wufei saw it, shouting of all the injustices if was to do such an dishonorable thing in combat." He chuckled, "The idiot went in after them both, clamping onto Heero and Duo, throwing his burners to max..." he pulled a shaking, tear streaked Quatre into his arms.  
  
"...They didn't make it out...... Heero and Duo had fallen too far into the atmosphere; Earths gravity had started to pull them down... Wufei's suit added to the weight for pulling, but it didn't matter by then... they weren't in gundams... the suits couldn't withstand the heat of reentry... They... Gods Kat... they were burned alive!" his final wall broke as tears left their holdings to run down his face in rivers like Quatre's.  
  
"Allah no... the meeting..." images started filling his mind like a flickering movie screen... his heart ached with the memory of it... he remembered now... everything... the feelings... the pain... Heero, Duo, then Wufei... "Allah no..."  
  
~ * ~ End Flashback ~ * ~  
.  
  
They had went down. Down fighting for the one they both loved. He remembered it. All of it... How could you forget something when three of your closest friends... your brothers... were dieing? Throw in the fact the last thing all three had said, looking into the others eyes, was a steady, strong heart felt "I Love You Both"?  
  
Add that all together, Quatre swiped at his tears trying to sit up, and it was a pretty damn hard memory to forget! He had lost - they, had lost three of the best people they ever knew to grace their existence. Gone all in mere minutes, flashes of pictures, roaring of sound and floods of emotion...  
  
Yet... in all of that, in everything that he had felt that day, the following days after it at home, in bed while crying... Love had centered them all. It had over powered the fear. Overshadowed the acceptance. And held hands with the sorrow that seemed cast out for them alone.  
  
...Chang Wufei... Heero Yuy... Duo Maxwell...  
  
They had had an extraordinary bond between the three; Love. They loved one another unconditionally in their own ways. They had feared, for mere seconds the possibility of dieing. Then, while suite held suite, imagining it was the others arms holding each... they had accepted Death with open arms.  
  
They were going to die, yes. But they were going to do it together.  
  
.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
He said: "Spent five years in the bottle,  
"When the cancer took her from me.  
"But I've been sober three years now,  
"'Cos the one thing stronger than the whiskey:  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
.  
  
And then, before passing out Quatre remembered feeling the extreme sadness the three of them felt at not being able to say goodbye, not being able to have another day to enjoy being with their friends... realizing that with their passing left great heartache... unbelievably still... there was love for them...  
  
...Chang Wufei... Heero Yuy... Duo Maxwell...  
  
All had perished September 2nd, AC201 in the line of duty.  
  
Honorably. They gave their lives fighting for what they had always believed in. Always sought out to save. They fought for peace. They fought for their pride... And above all else, by Allah they fought to protect the ones they loved... their friends...  
  
Standing from the massive sized bed sniffling Quatre made his way to the window, a small smile fighting against his own sadness to curl his lips as he looked out the bench seated windows. The night was starting to clear up, gloomy clouds pulling out to the west, taking the rain with them. In his thoughts, watching the puffy gray clouds make their way away from his district, Quatre nodded.  
  
He knew what he had to do. And he smiled, a genuine hundred-watt smile for the first time in five months.  
  
.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
"Was the sight of her holdin' my baby girl.  
The way she adored that string of pearls,  
I gave her the day that our youngest boy, Earl,  
Married his high school love."  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
.  
  
Sighing as he finished the long winded, every word of truth tail, Trowa lifted his refilled glass of milk sipping from it. There, he had told him everything starting from joining the Preventers to his leaving his angel and ending up at the dusty run down looking bar. Ventured and told of his own feelings, his own grief that his little Arabian, through his own, could not see.  
  
A low whistle caught his attention, "Whoa... I'm sorry Trowa man... that's wow" shaking his head Mr. Wills sighed, eyes eternally sad, "I'm sorry son, that's a hellova lot to be put through..." a small smile crept upon his pale rose lips, "But you've lived and pushed through it."  
  
Fang nodded, his own deeper then dark chocolate eyes saddened, "You have strived in hard times where the strongest of flowers would have withered and died." He nodded slowly, "You are strong my friend. Have done all that was within' your power to make this love of yours see the light."  
  
He paused taking a swig from his own glass, "He, your lover" Fang seemed to take some small amusement in the Amazon boy's faint blush, "is a fragile flower that needs sheltering from the storm, friend Trowa... This 'condition' of his with feeling others emotions, seeing through their eyes... his empathy?" Slight pause as Trowa nodded he had assessed the condition correctly, "Given that he has been living with the knowledge of seeing and feeling, his friends as they passed on... Quite frankly I'm surprised this Quatre fellow hasn't gone insane yet."  
  
Trowa started to open his mouth to say something on that but was interrupted by the longhaired young man.  
  
"Ah he's right my friend," he drawled wagging a finger from the hand his glass was in, "This Quatre feller sure is a strong lad, that he is. Any other man would have fallen and folded under such mental pressure. Pilot or not, he is a fragile flower to be sheltered." With a certain sweep of his left him Mr. Wills winked, "You Trowa man, are his shelter."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Ah-uh! You are!" soft glare was turned on him from the kind eyed bar keeper, "I think you missed some things while you tried to make him understand that letting go of his pain - accepting it, if you will - was not causing him to let go of his friends at the same time. What you both over looked" his blue eyes shimmered, "Is the simplest of notions..." voice cracking a little as he trailed off.  
  
Trowa blinked, not quite grasping what the other man was telling him. "I'm sorry... what do you mean?" he appreciated the help, any they could give for his was clawing at empty straws on how to help his beloved more on and get better.  
  
"What Mr. Wills is trying to get your thick heads to see" smiling towards the opened mouthed man Fang leaned over taking the bar keeps shaking hand into his own, "Is that your friends will forever be with you." His dark head nodded as a light of understanding sparked in olive green eyes. "Though they may be passed into the other world. They are forever at your side. Spirits may roam, young one, they are not bound to any one place for eternity. Who is to say that your loved friends are not watching over you both?"  
  
"See Trowa man?" The bar keeps soft smile started turning into a grin, "Your friends are dead and gone" remembering to speak that part softly so it wouldn't come out the wrong way, "but at the same they're right there with you, keeping an eye on the both of y'all. They would in no way want you both to suffer for something, which y'all couldn't have stopped had you been there. Don't you see? If wasn't either of your faults!"  
  
Giving what they said some thought, though he really needn't, he knew it wasn't their fault their friends died... but it was hard... to grasp that fact and still move on. Most of all for his lover, the boys heart was so wide, so open, to everything... those dear to him were the world... to loose one... Trowa shook his head, let alone three of them... was tarring him apart inside.  
  
"Trowa." Fang waited for his attention, "You are Quatre's shelter. It is your arms that he goes into. It is your heart, your soul that he takes comfort in. It is you that he loves. You must take patience with his small boy, comfort him and support him." He was smiling again, "Go home friend Trowa... I feel it will be all the better once you do. Things will change, just give Time her due."  
  
Chuckling softly olive eyes sparkled with a wetness he was beginning to get used to over the last three months time. Trowa shook his head. Uncanny wasn't it? How when you have everyone living around you speak the same words they mean close to nothing? Yet, when you stumble upon a kind stranger, someone you know for not... a person who speaks the same words, yet a different way... that they hit home? Made your eyes open to the truth standing before you the whole time?  
  
"Aa..." in good spirits Trowa stood shaking Fangs hand, "I thank you both" turning towards Wills he extended his hand. And was surprised to be captured in a strong over the counter hug.  
  
"You take care now, heal and love one another for all your worth" whispering the long haired boy pulled back enough to see the others shocked face, he smiled, "You live only once. Make the most of it and don't look back on the past. It's past, a part that won't play in your future. But don't forget those you knew back then..." his eyes started to shimmer again, "For they will always be there with you through everything. They will hear your words and listen to your prayers."  
  
Letting the other go he patted his shoulder, "Trust in your love Trowa, it will never guide you in the wrong direction."  
  
Nodding dumbly, a feeling in the back of his mind whispering to him there was something about them both... he gave a final wave before quietly slipping from the old establishment with ease he had come. Opened his door, climbed in starting the truck and headed back to his house. There was someone there he needed to see.  
  
.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
"An' it's a new tee-shirt saying: 'I'm a Grandpa'.  
Bein' right there as our time got small,  
An' holdin' her hand, when the Good Lord called her up,  
Yeah, man, that's the good stuff."  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
.  
  
The drive home was as long and as mind numbing as the drive up had been. Nothing happened, he didn't see anything but small jack rabbits hopping along the deserted roads side at times. Soon the populated division of his lived in sector came into view. The long winding road cutting through desert like planes opened into the late night lightings of his hometown. Not fast enough did the Winner estate slowly come into focus as his truck sped up the last hill. He sighed quietly at the heart-warming sight greeting him as he passed through the outer gates, closing with a clank behind him.  
  
Quatre was waiting at the door for him, robe flapping in the evening breeze, hair trussed and face slightly pink from the sharp night's air whipping past.  
  
And the most wonderful of the entire thing that nearly brought him to his knees in delight, was that his Quatre, his Arabian Angel... was smiling. Face alight with happiness, eyes as clear as a Caribbean sea. The boy who hadn't smiled in near four months... was smiling again... at Him.  
  
"Qat..."  
  
He watched, as his love stumbled from the trucks side up the twelve stairs towards him. He'd never taken in the time between his grieving to notice just how much his love was hurting... Trowa had lost weight, as had he, his eyes were sad yet happy, limbs tired and weak. Quatre frowned. He'd been pushing himself too hard... trying to make up for what he, could not handle... and sighed with love.  
  
Shaking his head, smile never wavering Quatre pulled the taller man into his warm embrace, "Trowa..." what to say? There was so much and nothing in the same to say. They each knew the others thoughts. Knew what they felt. So what could he say to excuse the way he had been acting the last few months? Opening the door he led his love into the house and up the stairs to their room.  
  
Closing the door his arms tightened, "I'm sorry Trowa... I'm sorry..." there was little more he could say. Excuses wouldn't make up for his he treated the other, so lost in his own despair and grief to not take notice of his loves fair.  
  
"Shhh..." smoothing back pale gold hair, "Don't..." smiling Trowa turned the light off guiding his angel to the bed, he was tired... so tired... as Quatre pulled the covers back slipping the others shoes off Trowa smiled at him again, pulling him closer to this chest, "It's all in the past... A part that won't play in our future... so please," kissing the top of that golden head, "Don't dwell on it love..."  
  
Snuggling closer Quatre nodded knowing his words to be true, but something... was bugging him... He looked up through the mess of bangs, watching his lovers face, "Trowa... where did you go to?" He neither missed the small smile that graced those lips, nor the deep rumble from the chest beneath his, he quirked a brow in amused question.  
  
Smiling a bit he had to think over that one. Finally he opened his mouth, "I went driving love, just driving..." he chuckled, "While out I ran into a long tailed coon who dared to share the wonders of life with me."  
  
Brow arching further up Quatre chuckled. "Oh? Just where were you chattering to his Coon?" He wanted to see where his love went that raised his spirits so much. "Can you take me? Please?" If it had so much effect on Trowa, then he wanted to see for himself this place he found.  
  
"Aa... in the morning Qat... in the morning..." giving another peck to his loves head he let Sleeps sweet embrace pull him down.  
  
.  
~ * @ * ~  
.  
  
"Are you sure this is the same spot?" Quatre peered at him, "The right spot?" They'd been driving for near two hours and still he'd yet to see anything like the bar Trowa had told him about. There was nothing. Nothing! It was all sanded desert! No way an intelligent living being would come way out here.  
  
Chuckling softly, "Yes Quatre, it's here, have patience little one." He was getting used to that question, it'd only been asked for the last hour of the ride. Trowa smiled, they were almost there.  
  
"OHH! OHH!" a half hour later the small Arabian was jumping in his seat, "IS THIS IT?! IS THIS IT?!"  
  
The run down sun color dyed boarded up building loomed in front of them. "Trowa..." was the calm questioning voice, "This couldn't have been the place you were at last night... just look at it..."  
  
Trowa did look, blinked and looked again. Gradually he shook his head, "No, this is the correct place." Same building, same worn out signs... yet they looked fifty years older then the night before. The windows were boarded up tight, the door hanging off its hinges and boarded over. "I don't understand..." carefully he started pulling out of the truck, walking towards the place where sound advice was given.  
  
"Trowa..." Quatre was walking towards the door curiously, "What's this?" taking down a plan white envelope was tagged to the door, "It's blank."  
  
"I don't know..." a shrug, "Open it."  
  
He looked up, "Are you sure?"  
  
Auburn brow rose, "What could it hurt?"  
  
"A-alright..." warily the small blonde man slipped a finger in the fold and tore it open pulling out a single white page. His eyes scanned over the words, hands started shaking and a startled sob had him dropping the page moving away from it like it was the plague itself.  
  
Shocked Trowa reached out for him, "Qat? What's wrong?" A shaky hand pointing towards the note on the ground was his only answer. Watching his love a moment more the lofty lad leaned over picking it up. Minutes later his fingers loosed on the note but didn't drop it, his eyes gone wide... It was impossible... couldn't have been but... the letter... the words... writing...  
  
.  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
Dear Trowa and Quatre,  
  
Hey guys! What's kickin'? ^_^ I know this has got to come as a shock, but it's real. You know it is in your hearts. So, with all that junk out of the way I'd like to say... STOP GREIVING!! -_- We're dead, alright? Yea, but we're still with you y'know? So would ya pleas stop already? It hurts to see you guys like that...  
  
Hello Barton, Winner... Maxwell is right (for once) that you need to stop grieving. It has been near four months since we passed on. Near four months that we have stayed by and watched you both suffer with needless pain. Please, let it go. It does no good but to cause you both unneeded grief.  
  
Look within your soul, your hearts. You know we do not wish this for you. So please, with our love that you felt when we passed, Winner, let the pain go. We will forever be with you both. At your side through pain and joy. Never fear that you are alone in this world.  
  
Hn. Listen to the bakas.  
  
Hey! Damn it you're an ass Hee-chan! ^__^ Don't listen to Heero there, being dead and no missions airn't sitting well with him ^_~  
  
But please Q-man, y'gotta let the pain go. When you do, you'll see it's the pain alone, your not lettin' us go. You never would. We'll always be in your heart Q-man, Tro-man... We love you guys... take care and love one another always...  
  
We'll meet once again...  
  
With all our love,  
  
Duo "Mr. Wills" Maxwell, Chang "Fang" Wufei  
& Heero "The Perfect Soldier" Yuy  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
.  
  
Trowa blinked, looked to the old building then into the blue sky above and smiled. He knew there was something about the two men from last night... something familiar...  
  
With loving care, contented tear slipping down his face, he folded the letter up carefully stuffing it in his pocket. Turning he gathered the still crying Quatre into his arms and held tight. They were given a gift that usually was not given.  
  
Closure. A chance to see their friends one last time, a rarer chance in that to say goodbye to them. In whatever form it may be... they're friends were there for them always looking out for them.  
  
And, they had each other... Always and Forever...  
  
.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
He said: "When you get home, she'll start to cry.  
When she says: 'I'm sorry,' say: 'So am I.'  
An' look into those eyes, so deep in love,  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
.  
  
.  
~ * @ * ~  
  
"Your finally back."  
  
Duo smiled waving, "Love you too Hee-chan!" he'd never get used to walking on the cloudy floors.  
  
"It went well?" There was a worried spark in midnight eyes.  
  
"Aa... it turned out as it should have. Peace was given." Wufei smiled small looking over his shoulder. From that point on the 'look out' they could watch the going ons of Earth, watch as their friends pulled away from one another... heard the whispered thanks before piling into the Europeans truck and driving away.  
  
"As it should be" the braided American murmured hugging the Chinese's arm smiling. Turning around he grinned, "So didja miss us Hee-chan!?" Laughing at the frown-smile he got, "Yeah we missed you too!" Hopping up to him pulling his caramel skinned Asian with him Duo pecked the Japanese on the cheek before linking an arm through is and skipping away.  
  
.  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
An' drink it up...  
'Cos that's the good stuff...  
That's the good stuff...  
~ * ~ @ ~ * ~  
  
.  
_/~\_/~\_/~\_/~\_/~\_/~\_/~\_/~\_/~\_/~\_/~\_/~\_/~\_/~\_  
.  
  
1. Ai shiteru chiisai hito = I love you, little one. ^__^ Trowa... little?  
::chuckles:: Riiight...  
  
Hey guys! ::waves:: Hope y'all liked this one.. heh I think its pretty good, but I wanna know what y'all think so please Review and let me know how I did on it! ^_^ Lotsa thought went into the main idea for it... and I say that 'cause it's true, but the inbetween moments (ie. some of the bar scenes) were scattered thoughts... given that most of this was written around 12-3am, it came out good! ::laughs:: But I really hope y'all liked it, even if just a wee bit. Please review! ^_^  
  
Arigatou! ~ AR  
  
Started 10-10-02  
Finished 2-24-03 .. 2:45am  
  
~ * ~ 


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